The Cost of Euphoria
A story about losing clarity and finding meaning.
About me
My name is Ore Hoogendijk.
I am the author of The Cost of Euphoria: A Personal Story of What Happens Before, During, and After a Psychosis.
In this book I describe how clarity can slowly fade, how euphoria can feel liberating but comes at a price, and how you keep searching for meaning when nothing seems to hold you anymore.
This book is written for those who are not looking for quick answers,
but to recognition, and perhaps a moment of silent acknowledgement.
Some stories are meant to be understood.
Others are meant to be felt.
This is such a story.
Why I published this book
Throughout my own journey, I felt alone in what I was experiencing. As if there were no words for what was happening inside me. As if I had to bear it without being able to say it out loud.
This book is my way of breaking that silence.
I didn't want to write a finished or polished story. Not a version that minimized the pain.
I wanted to be honest.
About pain.
About relapse.
About hope that is sometimes wafer-thin.
About a recovery process that does not follow a straight line, but meanders, stands still and starts again.
I wrote this for anyone who has ever felt disconnected from themselves.
For those who needed to get to know themselves again from within.
For those who are still looking for breathing space in a world that is sometimes too much.
This book is an invitation
to speak when it's difficult,
to feel what wants to be felt,
to heal at your own pace,
and to choose yourself again and again, no matter how carefully.
This story is there.
Whenever you are ready.
This book is personal, but the conversation surrounding it doesn’t have to stay that way.
I’m open to collaborating with organizations, initiatives, and platforms that are committed to promoting greater openness around mental health.